a love letter written to my beloved half last 2004
Two winter season ago...our love started with so much hope, so many dreams. It was a fairy tale that took us both by surprise...a coming together of two crazy people..who not only wanted to taste life but experience it together...it has blossomed into a love that is true.. Mahal, i knew with a certainty that vibrated in my very essence, that my heart and soul belonged to you. My destiny belongs in your arms...
Our memories are bittersweet...our life etched with so much joy as well as pain. But darling, in my heart I know the joy will always outweigh the pain. I want to embrace the joy and hold it close to my heart where it can live forever...where it will continue to feed the flame of love glowing in my heart...I want to remember the pain as a lesson, a lesson of how much we almost lost... A lesson of life to be lived with a memory of how not to be... You and I have once more opened the door of conversation...opened our hearts to love again... I want to know the man you truly are...The man who owns my heart... in this journey, I ask you to walk with me but bear in heart and mind that there will be times of joy and times that are rough. Even if I want to I cannot yet offer you perfection. I offer you me, a woman who has her own set weaknesses...but has been brave enough to face each one as she walks the path towards actualization. In my heart, I know that as long as we can share the world, and I can show you the true me...I am strong...
My love, I know tribulations will come our way and i don't know how we are going to work thru our problems...whatever they may be...but I want you to know that I am here for the long haul. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I can truly say that without any traces of doubt...without hesitation...with a conviction I have never experienced but now. I want your loving eyes to be the first I see when I awake and the last when I close my eyes to sleep... I want yours to be the last hand to hold when my time has elapsed in this world we call home... for I know I'd be brave to face death feeling your warmth enveloping me...
I have never doubted my love for you...When we broke up I felt like I was die-ing inside. Your love has filled me with such warmth, such light, and to not be able to truly experience it was the darkest hour of my life.
I do need you. I need to feel your warmth...your encouragement... your love enveloping me...You don't know how hard this is to admit to you. For I haven't admitted needing anyone in my entire life. Especially not to myself. I've always believed in my independence...my ability to stand on my own...Admitting all these,makes me feel vulnerable. Something I wasn't willing to risk before...
You know what I want? I just want us to hold hands and laugh together, love each other, but also to cry together. My life is joined with yours my love... Not just for the present but since the past and towards the future as well. but especially for the future...
You have inspired me be the best of who I can be... We have once been separated, but my love, you have lived in my heart even during the storm. You were never far from me...for you remained in my heart.
I don't know what our future would look like, what i know is that I want us to experience it together. I think it will be an adventure. =) We have shared so many meaningful moments, and they have never had to be earth shaking to be special... They are the little memories that have found its way into our hearts and found a home... our movie marathon...our sunday rituals...our computer-fanatic moments...our mall gimiks...our traders moments...the walks in baywalk...our tambay at your place and mine... our out of town lakads...even cooking together...These are the kind of memories that have created the sweetest moments. They may not be unique..but they are the kind that only you and I can share and appreciate... That's where my love for you comes from...in the simpliest of things... That, and knowing so many new memories await us...so many new experiences awaiting our discovery...
Sometimes the thought of you takes my breath away with passion...with tenderness...even during moments of toxicity, your memory brings calmness into me... That is when I'm sure our love is true and lasting. But it is just not a thought...its a presense...a sureness i cannot even explain...
My love, let us continue to dance...if destiny permits...in this lifetime and beyond...
